Learning to knit

So I have some time on my hands and am learning to knit. What will become of this project, you may ask? Well, as with most things these days, that depends. It could be a hot pad or a baby blanket. It depends on how long I remain pregnant!

The conversations around the house now go something like this:
"If you're still pregnant when blahdittyblah....."
or
"If the baby's here when blahdittyblah..." Hotpad or baby blanket? One of life's great unanswered questions.
Besides learning to knit, this period of life is teaching us all to let go of what we cannot control. It's a lesson we've learned only after several head bashing experiences. "If we get the stitch we will make it to full term!" BAM..... hotpad.
It's not that we shouldn't stay positive and hope for the best. We're just realizing that what really happens is mostly out of our control. This realization isn't depressing, it's actually a blessing. A way to survive. I am no longer going to bed each night saying to myself "I WILL make it to 37 weeks, I WILL make it to 37 weeks." I now go to bed saying "I did all I could today to keep this baby inside for one more day. And today, it worked." We may make it to a baby blanket yet, but it'll be stitch by stitch, day by day.
My mom has always told me to let go of worrying about the things I can do nothing about. I always agreed with her that it was an intelligent thing to do. But I never really figured out how to do it. Out of necessity, I now have it figured out. I guess some things you need time and experience to really learn. Most of us aren't born knowing how to "let go". Those of us who are are special and very happy people early on in life.
I still have pictures of full term, happy, healthy, chubby babies up on my "vision board". I am still hoping to fulfill that dream of spending the first night of my baby's life with him or her next to me, not in the NICU, and taking him or her home the next day. Those moments I didn't get with Piper. But I need to approach this so as not to feel like a failure. I need to feel sucess each day, even if it's a small triumph. Baby steps to a baby blanket.....