Wow, it's been awhile. It's not that I'm not moved to write posts, it's that by the time I have a moment to sit and write, I forget my inspiration. Piper, almost done with her Kindergarten year - amazingly - is growing into a beautiful, sweet, loving, and sharp little girl. Quinn, now 3, is finding her own way. Struggling to be like her big sis, yet her own person. Her aversion to someone else getting attention is rearing it's little curly head. She loves to be in the center of attention. And most of the time Piper is content to let her have it.
As the kids grow, Brooks and I are slowing finding more time for ourselves. I'm taking guitar lessons, he's joined a gym. and my identity as mom continues to evolve as well. My involvement in their life is becoming less "life and death" and more of a choice. It makes for big time internal struggles. I know I need time for me and should take it now and then. And I do. But at the same time, I know this time with them is so short and so very sweet. My little Quinny has 2 more years at home before she goes to Kindergarten. Those years are going to fly. I don't want to ever look back and feel I should've spent more time coloring, playing princess, taking walks and going to parks with her. And Piper, in a couple years, will probably not care as much if I'm at her school once a week volunteering. At this time, it is something SO special to have HER MOM! in her classroom helping out. I choose to be there because it is one way I can let her know that her life at school is important to me. I want to know her friends. I want to know her teachers. I want to see her grow and learn. Not because I'm afraid of her making bad choices or misbehaving, but because I will not let go of being involved in her life. In some way. Every day. Now, don't worry. I know there is a healthy balance in that and we as a family strive for that balance between love and support and encouraging independence. But I have this feeling of time slipping away and I am trying to revel in the beaut
y of this time, laugh though it's challenges and step back and appreciate this time for what it is.It is one sister not getting out of the car until she hugs and kisses the other good bye. It is eating breakfast on the kitchen floor in front of the heater, cuddled in blankets. It is "you're the best mommy ever". It is "Mom! I tied my shoes!" It is "Mom, we're supposed to dress like oVIParous animals - not OVI-PARous animals." It is teddy bear dance class. It is morning snuggles in my bed. It is "Mommy, I need you" in the middle of the night. It is "I can DO IT...will you help me please?". It is interestingly self-designed outfits that somehow work for them. It is my big girl who is in a princess dress one minute and wrestling with her boy-friend the next. It is super speedy and flying by. It is sweet and frustrating and wonderful just the way it is.
So I'm trying to choose each day to find balance. Much needed time for me, balanced with sweet sweet time with my girls before it is no longer a choice. As my children grow and I evolve as their Mom, it's all I can hope for.
