Dating again....

I've jokingly mentioned to my non-parent friends how meeting other moms is currently my form of dating. I'm kind of kidding but not really. Here's how it goes:
Mom Dating: I see another mom at the park.
Real dating: I see a hotty at a bar.
Mom Dating: She's got a kiddo around Piper's age.
Real Dating: No ring.
Mom dating: Her kids don't seem bratty, she's not screaming.
Real dating: He's not repulsively drunk and his friends are behaving.
Mom dating: She's around my age.
Real dating: He's not in diapers can't get an AARP discount.
Mom dating: She seems to take good care of herself and her kids.
Real dating: He's really hot.

The Move: I encourage Piper to play "over there". Casually we move closer and listen in on her talking to her child(ren) and decide if we should proceed. Fortunately (unlike with real dating) a conversation is easy to strike. You know you have one thing in common at least. The current topics of choice include potty training, daycare, and kid "equipment" (strollers, bike trainers, big girl beds etc).
Real dating (as I remember...) topics of choice: Drink of choice, lies about how much you really exercise and possibly a deep discussion on astrological signs.

You decide you have enough in common to get together again for a
(mom dating): play date.
(real dating): date date.

You exchange numbers. You go home. You wait. The phone rings. It's not her (him). 2 days go by. The phone rings again (possibly only the 2nd time in these 3 days). Apparently the 3 day rule stands with Mom dating too. It's HER (HIM)!!! You have a great continuation of your conversation and you begin to imagine a future together. Your kids becoming best friends, your husbands hanging out with the kids together while you two go for pedicures, having someone you can trust to call in case of emergency to watch your child for an hour.
(He gets along with your friends and your family approves. He takes you on romantic get-away weekends, all expenses paid. You get married and have kids so you can start Mom dating....)
It's all the same really.
The the first date.
MD: you clean the house Just in case she has to come in to use the bathroom.
RD: You clean the house hoping it's a good enough date to justify inviting him in afterwards.
MD: You scrub up your kid, put her in the cutest outfit you have without overdressing (it is a play date after all). Oh yeah, and you brush your teeth, pull your hair into a pony and wear something other than sweats (something fancy like jeans).
RD: You shave your legs (Priority numero uno), put product in your hair, wear makeup and buy a new outfit.
MD: You anxiously await her arrival.
RD: You anxiously await his arrival.
MD: You meet up, all goes as planned! The kids all behave and have a blast. You two laugh together like you've been friends for years. There's talk of getting the husbands together and future play dates. You make tentative plans for next week and have your kids hug each other goodbye.
RD: He is as hot as you remembered. He takes you to a great restaurant where they have to ask you to leave because you've been so wrapped up in conversation, you don't notice the place closing down. He walks you to your door where he gives you THE kiss. (I'll leave it at that....) As he's leaving he says "I'll call you tomorrow".

The next day. You're on a high. Your life is full of new possibilities. You get home. There are no messages.....
None the next day......
The day comes when you were supposed to have this play date (date). She (he) finally calls....and cancels. Her child is sick. (He has to "work".)

Fortunately, my life is so very full and satisfying right now, so I take this in stride. After all, I am a mom and know what it's like to live with the unpredictability of a child. And unlike with real dating, Mom's don't really need to lie. Moms understand when a kid gets sick, or even if another mom is just feeling worn out and needs a day to lie low. So different from the insecurity of single life and dating. But the excitement in the beginning is the same. Unlike with real dating, I'll give mom-friend another shot. After all, her son could be my daughter's future husband.....

"I two" and Lucky Sister

Piper is two. I really can't believe two years of her life have flown by already. She is a little girl now. As my mom just said "it just keeps getting better". She's right. Every new stage has its down points, but its highs, well, there's just nothing like it.

Although I am sentimental about Piper growing up so soon, I think I would be more so if I knew we weren't about to go through it all again! That's right ladies and gentlemen, we are expecting a little brother or sister for Piper. My due date is February 20! Brooks and I just can't keep our hands off each other so for the second time in 3 years we gave in to temptation and WALA peanut butter sandwiches! We are so very excited. Piper is going to be such a good big sister.

My mom, sister and brother in law were here this weekend to celebrate the Leo brithdays. My sister Tara's birthday is the 13th. If any of you know my sister, you know she is prone to "colorful" language. Before they came, I warned her that Piper is a little parrot now. You REALLY have to watch what you say! Tara was very good and did watch it, which she realized was a good thing after Piper repeated "OH SHOOT!". Thank you T for watching it! :)

Siblings are such a wonderful blessing. I can't wait for Piper to experience that wonderful relationship. My sister has been my best friend- when there seemed to be noone else, my worst enemy - which taught me to deal with adversity and still love the person drooling in my face while I was pinned to the ground, and my Sistah- which if you have a sister, you understand.

She and her wonderful husband Jeff, whom I adore may be moving to Hawaii. Although they now live in Arizona, not exactly next door, Hawaii seems so far. It's a wonderful opportunity for them and I'm so excited for the expereinces they'll have together as a newly married couple.

Yet, today when I said goodbye to my Sistah, I couldn't help but feel my heart tugging. It's probably similar to how I have felt as a parent and will feel many more times. With Piper, that first day of daycare was gut wrenching. Yet I knew it was something I had to do. In the future it'll be kissing her goodbye as she goes to overnight camp for the first time. Then saying goodbye as she drives away with her new license. Then helping her pack up for college or a trip around the world. It may sound wierd to feel that way with my older sister, but I kind of do. During most of our lives, Tara blazed the path. The first to date, the first to drive, the first to get in trouble. But later in life, there have been some things that I have done first. Get married, have a kid, move away from home. As she and Jeff talk about embarking on this adventure I feel a mixture of things I often feel as a parent: pride, concern, certainty that this is a GOOD thing even though it's hard, excitment and of course love. Then I feel the little sister things: She'll be so far, I'll miss her. So as I was saying goodbye, we fell into our roles. Big sister comforting little sister.

Then I start to think of Piper. She will have a lot in common with her Leo Auntie T, whom she calls "T-T". Leos, to start, born leaders. Big sisters, and good ones at that. Very comfortable as the center of attention. And so loving and so loved. I don't doubt I can help Piper become the good big sister she's meant to be. Even though I've never been one myself, I've had a great example set by Tara.

Thank you Tara for being my big sis. I am so excited for you and Jeff and so grateful to have you BOTH in our lives. I LOVE YOU!