All Things Spring

Tulips. Green grass. Allergies. Flip flops. Picnics. Kite flying. And most interesting to Piper, Bugs. She has discovered Bugs. They move! They fly! They are EVERYWHERE! To that end, they are in our house. At least A bug is in our house. A spider. A big one. I don't like spiders. I'm a little afraid of the ugly arachnoid to be honest. But I don't want to pass that fear on if possible - fear being a learned behavior to some degree and all. So I am trying to feign interest in front of Piper. I'm trying to look at it scientifically. I have my degrees in science based subjects after all. Bugs are just bugs. Spiders are just spiders....with eight, hairy, creepy legs and a big, fat, round, creepy body, and eyes - let's not go there.
Today, we spent the morning tracking the spider from the vaulted ceiling to her home (EWWWWWWWWWW!) complete with offspring (EWWWWWWWW!) in the corner of my living room. Writing about this is making my nose itch. Piper named the spider. Her name is "Fly". Why did I encourage this? You do realize, I now have to look at Fly as a pet. I cannot kill Fly. I cannot release Fly into the wild - what would her babies (again, EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!) do without her? What am I doing?
Where did this irrational fear of spiders come from? I don't know. My mom isn't really all that creeped out by spiders. I'm sure she doesn't relish the thought of sharing her space with them, but she can rid herself of them without a pep talk before and psycho-therapy after. (And, by the way, the animated Charlotte - of "Charlotte's Web" did NOTHING to warm me to spiders. She was creepier than any I've seen in real life.)
And HOW am I really going to keep my fear unnoticed. I mean really. Piper isn't dumb - far from it. She knows when I'm sad. She knows when I'm mad. I'm sure she knows when I'm about to crap my pants. (I wish she knew when SHE was about to crap her pants - but that's another subject.)
Maybe a little dose of fear is good though. There ARE spiders that WILL hurt you. Fly is PROBABLY not one of them, but you make friends with one and before you know it, you're hosting "Spiders Gone Wild, 2008".
I guess I can deal with having Fly around. After all, she's more afraid of me than I am of her, right? And her little babies, they won't leave her cozy little nest. Right?.....RIGHT?! WHAT? They will scatter like the little baby Charlottes with parachutes (going "weeeeee!") in "Charlotte's Web" all the way up to my bed???!! (I guess that movie really scarred me.) Ok, ok, breathe. I can have Brooks kill Fly tomorrow. Piper will never know. I'm an awful mother. One with real fears and a very itchy nose and a need to sleep without worrying about baby spiders invading my space. Or snakes. Or cockroaches, GOD. I better stop now.

My girls

Although I started this blog as an outlet for myself and often use it in that way, I know someday my girls will read this and I also look at this as a journal of sorts for them to see their childhood through my point of view. Perhaps more helpful and funny when they become mothers themselves, if they are so lucky. I've been feeling so incredibly blessed and blissful about my children lately and wanted to write something to them to try to express how I'm feeling.

Piper, my first, my girl. Your big brown eyes and eye lashes that go on for miles just melt me. Your sweet nature and intrinsic love for your sister, your dogs, your friends makes me burst with love for you. You are at such a fun age. You make me laugh all day long with your antics, your "tickle kisses" (that I used to play with MY mommy), your grown up play and your goofiness that comes straight from the heart. I see myself (and your daddy) in you. Some days when we go to the park, you are all thrill seeker. Running without stopping, sliding without hesitation, joining in with other kids you don't even know. And some days, like today, you need your mommy by your side every step of the way. You like to sit back and watch the other kids. You like to take the slides on a lap instead of head first. You stay on the swings forever, because it's a good view of all that is happening around you. Sometimes I'd swear you're a Gemini. In any case, you are a lot like your mommy. Sometimes jumping right in and sometimes, not so sure of yourself and hanging on to your security. I rejoice when I see you jump in and I sometimes worry when I see you hang back. I was painfully shy for some time while I was young and I don't want you to suffer that. But I also want you to be true to yourself, so I don't force you to cross out of your comfort zone. You'll learn to do it on your own, I did. And one thing I learned along the way is that hanging back and observing sometimes is more genuine. When you make a friend, it's because you really like them. You teach me so much about being a parent every day. It's not about telling you what NOT to do, it's about telling you what you do right. Which, is a lot. I'm learning that you don't need much, but you do need some special time for just you every day. You need time to not be "Piper the big sister" but just to be Piper, my girl. And I'm sorry for the days when I can't seem to find the time to make that happen. You ARE my girl. And I AM so blessed to have you. Thank you, Love, for being such a good big sister, for eating your veggies, for making my laugh and for being "my girl".

Quinn (Our Quinny) you are so little still, but already have stolen my heart. When that sweet lower lip starts to stick out, that frown can be turned to a smile with such ease. Your big blue (will they stay blue??) eyes see it all and soak it all in. I love to watch you discover your hands, your mouth, your toys, your mommy, daddy and sister. You already sense comfort in your big sister. She calms you and it's only the beginning of that - take it from me, I know how comforting a big sister can be. I love how your fuzzy blond-ish hair sticks straight out after your bath. I love your soft, soft cheeks. I love your roly poly thighs. I love your goofy toothless grin and LOVE when you scrunch up your nose in what I think will become your giggle. I love your thoughtful gaze that takes it all in. Thank you for bringing that baby sweetness into our lives one last time. And thank you for reminding me to slow down and enjoy today for today.

My girls, don't grow up too fast okay?