Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Worry capacity FULL


It's funny the things you forget about mothering a newborn:

Did we REALLY just go through ANOTHER whole pack of diapers? They cost HOW MUCH?

Does she really need her face POWER sprayed with milk every time she pulls off? I wish my garden hose had that much pressure. (I've decided she must secretly love that. Imagine being sprayed in the face with liquid chocolate - it MUST be something THAT good.)

WHEN will I learn not to change a diaper on the couch without a changing pad underneath?

Is it essential to have 15 burp clothes in a 5 foot vicinity? And more importantly, which one did she pee on?

Yes, the plumbing is funky and really meant for twins. Sucking on one breast gets the goods flowing in BOTH - be prepared.

And then there is the endless stream of worry. Though it is less stressful the second time around, there is no shortage of new catastrophic dangers you need to avoid. Somehow as your first child grows these dangers seem less dangerous. But NOW you have this fragile being completely dependent on you to not let her get cancer, EVER. If she EVER gets cancer it's because I used the wrong bottles, lotions, soaps, detergents, left her in partial sunlight for too long without PABA free 50 spf sunblock - or worse yet sunblock with PABA! (what the hell is IS PABA?) All I know is that it's a marketers dream, this phase of mothering a newborn. All one has to do is put " (fill in the blank) Free!" on a product, and I'm sure it's something I should buy because I don't have time to keep track of which things are going to kill my daughter and which things may mearly make her retarded - excuse me, I mean "developmentally delayed". I cannot continue to worry endlessly about every new article I read. My capacity for worrying is as full as I want it to be. So, I will just spend the extra money to buy the "_________ FREE!" products. I'm a sucker.

I am truly enjoying this time though. I am worrying so much less this time, because I know it does me, and Quinn, no good. Which leaves me more time to soak it all in and appreciate it. Because I tell you what! It AIN'T happening again! At least not if it involves pregnancy. But really, I fall in love with Quinn all over again every time she looks into my eyes. It's that butterflies in your stomach kind of love. The kind where you could literally just EAT her up, but you settle for a million kisses on all her beautiful tiny parts. (well not ALL her parts...) And I get that same feeling watching Piper be a wonderful big sister. It's amazing to me how she loves Quinn intrinsically. Like Quinn was a piece of herself she didn't know she was missing. I'm so grateful they get to experience the wonder and joy of sister-hood. And so grateful I get to be a new mom one more time.


Thursday, February 7, 2008

Initiation SUCKS

The Baby is here!! And initiation into parenting of 2 was a little rough today. Poor big sister Piper has been sick and did not sleep well last night. So she was a little needy all day. I was feeling pretty good about how things were going, however. She wanted to be in my lap while I was nursing her little sister, but we worked that out. She wanted me to play when I was putting little sister down for a nap. Worked that out too. In fact, I was just saying to my friend how I was sure it would get harder, but so far, I was feeling competant. (A nice change...)
It was time to feed little sister so I put Piper in front of the computer to play "games" with some juice and a cereal bar. She hadn't eaten hardly anything all day due to being sick but she LOVES those bars so I thought it was a sure thing. I came down to check on her before I sat down to nurse and noticed only one bite taken from the bar. Then I heard whining and saw arms reaching up to me and only heard "I want attention now that you're about to nurse" which was actually probably more like "mommy I don't feel well....". (Hence the name of this blog "Mom of the Year in full glory.) I asked her to come sit on the couch next to me with her snack while I fed her little sister. We had just settled in, baby going to town on the boob and Piper was standing in front of me still whining. All of a sudden, exorcist style, up came all she had to eat today: juice (red) and cheese. All. Over. Me. (Fortunately the baby was covered with a blanket.)
WHAT DO I DO FIRST??
The dogs are excitedly cleaning up (gag), Piper is crying and miserable, the baby is still eating, I'm soaking wet with puke - I'm surprised the phone and doorbell didn't ring. I set the baby down at a safe distance from this disaster - and now she's screaming because of the boob interuption - strip down Piper, myself and plop her in front of the TV, which I had JUST told her she couldn't watch any more of today..... Oh, is THIS what it's really like??? Oh boy. What did I get myself into?!
I haven't yet gotten to the "Birth Announcement" on my blog. So here it goes!
IT'S A GIRL!!!!!



Quinn Melaina Ramsey was born on January 30, 2008. 5 pounds, 11 oz. 18.25 inches long. 37 weeks TO THE DAY!! Can you believe it? I took my last Procardia (anti contraction med) at noon on the 29th. I had a OB appointment at 3:30 that afternoon. As I was sitting in the waiting room, I noticed I had had several contractions in the last hour. When the doctor checked me she said I was 5cm dilated, 90% effaced. She predicted I would have our baby by 3 AM. We went home and started dinner. When I realized the contractions weren't slowing, I sat down and started timing them. Thankfully, my best friend Kristen was here visiting. Soon, contractions were stronger and 5 minutes apart. We went to the hospital around 7pm. We were so excited and hopeful that this was really "it"! I was checked and was still at 5 cm, 100% effaced. So off we went! At about 11pm I was at 7 cm. Soon after, everything seemed to stop. Contractions slowed and were less strong despite our attempts to keep things going: walking, jumping jacks (just kidding - but only because my feet hurt too bad). I was getting exhausted, as was Brooks. I took a bath then laid down for a bit to rest. When I was checked again, I was still at 7 cm. That's when the Doctor (not my OB unfortunately) suggested breaking my water. From our previous experience with Piper (who was born 20 minutes after the water was broken), we were pretty sure that would do the trick. After he broke the water he said "well, I'll check back on ya in about an hour". Brooks's response was "or...sooner....?" We started walking again and before long I had to really focus on breathing through the contractions that were lasting about 80 seconds and about 30 seconds apart. All of a sudden.... "Pushing!!!!!!!!!!!" came out of my mouth. It hit like a freight train. The doctor came in and casually mentioned he would check my dilation then realized that was unneccessary as he could see the baby CROWNING. He saunters over the the sink and says, "I'll just wash my hands..." You haven't washed your HANDS yet? This baby is a-COMIN! Get your ASS over here! The whole time Brooks and the nurse are telling me to NOT push. Impossible. Absolutely impossible. Finally Mr. Clean Hands gets to the bed and in three pushes, she was out. Brooks saw first that she was a girl. I was so happy. I did not even realize how much I wanted another girl until that moment. About 2 minutes later Brooks exclaims "We don't have to buy any clothes!" From my water breaking to birth was about 38 minutes. Quinn was born at 3:15 am. (wow, that's good predicting Doc.) I got my dream. Quinn did not leave my side for the next day and a half that we were in the hospital. I slept that first night with her sweet baby breath on my cheek and we took her home the next day. It was such an amazing experience. One I never want to repeat. :) 2 is wonderful. 2 is more than enough.

Big sister Piper is in love. She loves to hold her (though this has been limited due to Piper being sick!), kiss her head, help change her diaper, tuck her in. She's having what I can only assume is normal extra neediness. And I'm happy to give in when I can.

Quinn did have to make a return visit to the hospital on Sunday, her 4th day of life, because her bilirubin levels continued to rise after her she was sent home and after being on a UV light at home for 2 days. But one peaceful night of her sunbathing under the lights in the hospital did the trick and she's doing great.

This is going to be an adventure. I see Piper in such a different light now. She is SO BIG! When did she get so big? I look at her hands, which were so petite 2 weeks ago, and I see huge-ness! I look at her precious face and realize, this is no longer a baby. I feel a little shell shocked by this most of all. I am a little sad that she's growing so fast. Then I look at beautiful Quinn and realize this is only the beginning. I'm looking ahead to Piper as a big sister. Such a good big sister. I'm excited to see how Quinn encounters her world differently or similarly to Piper. I'm glad we decided a long time ago that 2 kids were enough. All is well and complete in the Ramsey household. And I probably will not be as good about writing in my blog for awhile, forgive me. :)