We went to a beautiful wedding this weekend of a couple who are truly "meant to be". You know, the kind of couple you watch saying their vows with absolute sincerity, as if they were the only two people in the room. The kind of union where you find yourself dreaming of their kids-to-come, and all the highs and lows they'll face, and survive, as a couple. And you KNOW they'll survive. They just have the right kind of connection. Getting ready to leave the house, I almost decided not to bring a purse - because unlike most women, I hate the extra baggage. Then I decided I didn't want to leave my phone, so I grabbed my "wedding purse" and off we went. As we were watching the ceremony, I got emotional and teary eyed (never fails) and opened my purse to find my "wedding handkerchief". It's a beautiful handkerchief that my sister gave me for her wedding. I got to thinking about it. It's only been used at weddings. It's stains are only from tears of joy. Think of all the wonderful stories that will have begun when it wiped those happy tears from my eyes. All the laughter, all the sorrow, all the bumps in the road that life throws a married couple, the beginning of a new family. All those things started with a beautiful moment that made people who witnessed it, at least me, cry tears of joy.
I was speaking with someone the other day about marriage. She stated that she thought there wasn't just one person for each person. I have to say, it's probably true. I don't know that everyone meets, falls in love with and marries their soul mate. But it's not only the soul mates who end up very happily married for 50+ years. I believe, when you marry someone you make a choice. You make a choice to make it work. You make a choice to be happy. And you have to continue to make that choice. You have to continue to reevaluate what it is that makes you feel content in your marriage - because it will change. And you have to DISCUSS these things with your chosen mate. And often you have to agree to disagree and love each other anyway. And often you have to give more than you get. But you must know that your mate will do the same for you.
Now, I'm not saying that some marriages that end shouldn't end. I don't think every marriage will work out or should work out. But I do think that too often people think that marriages just....happen. They don't. They require care. They require work. (If you doubt this, have children.) They need to be fed with laughter and compassion. They require more than just love. Have you ever accomplished a goal that you worked really hard on and felt that elation of accomplishment? Have you ever gotten something you didn't work very hard for and felt as happy? My point is that all this work and effort you put in, you get back 10 fold. I know I am blessed to have found my partner. I also know that we work to keep it as good as it can be.
I so dearly hope that all those tears of joy that my handkerchief has seen are the beginnings of such happy lives full of love, laughter and a healthy dose of work. :)
