Potty Break

I sometimes feel like an auctioneer. Or a flea market entrapeneur. Some days, everything with a two year old, at least MY two year old, is a bribe. "If you stay in the cart in the store you can ride the horsey at the end", "If you don't put your shoes on right now- the ones WITHOUT red sparkles and a heel - we are NOT going to the park!" "You may have pizza AFTER you eat 2 pieces of broccoli!". Do I hear three pieces? Three pieces anyone, anyone three - don't pass up this deal- you may never see another like it! FOUR! four pieces. Anyone? Anyone?... Why doesn't she just do what I say because I SAID SO?!!! Doesn't she know by now that I am RIGHT?! - Always right. No questions. What happens when I run out of bargaining chips? What happens when she no longer cares about going to the park? what happens when she'd RATHER stay home and wear her sparkly red shoes? Then I never get to leave the house - NO! There must be a better way.

Well the truth is, I'm not always right. (I know, you may need to pause to catch your breath now, go ahead. Ok ready for more shocking news?) I DO make mistakes. I'm not always sure where I go wrong, but some days, I DO know I'm not doing SOMEthing right. The other morning I cleaned up 4, yes FOUR, accidents. 3 #1's, and 1 #2. - yep. That was the day I decided we were going to do this potty training thing, by golly. I got M&Ms for yet more bribery, which I didn't think I'd have to do. I talked Piper into making the "Choice" to wear big girl panties, all 3 pair that we wore this AM. (After the last accident I gave up and she went commando - sometimes you're just done.) I think there are some things you just can't bargain. No one gets to say "poop!" until you're good and ready to poop. It's just hard to imagine actually preferring to sit in your own brown trout than to set it free in the sewers where it can live out it's life happily among others just like it. But. I'm not 2 going on 3. And. I have control over more things in my life than whether I pee in my pants or the toilet. That's what it's all about ladies and gents. Control. At least at this point. Which is why, we are taking, yet another, break from potty training. Or mommy training as we should call it.