The age old question.....

Is it nature? Or nurture? How do these things happen? I watch my girls growing up together and pray and pray and pray and hope and hope and hope that they LOVE each other when they have a choice. In our house, right now, they have no choice. But I hope that leads them to the right choice in the future. Here's where I'm coming from: my sister T and I. We are close. SO close. Sometimes annoyingly close (to those around us, i.e. husbands). But it wasn't always this way. Picture it: 1988ish. I'm 12, T's 16. We're home alone after school, parents still at work. An argument over TV erupts, violence ensues. She's got me pinned to the ground, laughing. THEN plays the spit game where she slowly lets her spit string out of her mouth, stopping it just before it hits my face. Flash forward: 1989ish. I'm a Frosh at a HUGE high school. It's her third (and last) year there. She comes up to me at lunch time - I'm so relieved. Here's my big sis! I'm not alone! Oh, what's that? You need lunch money? Oh, ok.......bye?

But, to be fair, I'm struggling to come up with memories. We are siblings. We sometimes treat each other like dirt because no one else will take it and sometimes....we need someone to take teenage angst (or toddler angst) out on. Someone who will still love you when it's over. I'm sure she has similar stories about me. NO need to share them T! I know I did my share of sibling yuck. My point to this is: How did we end up so close?

Yes, we still argue. There was a big one a couple years ago at Thanksgiving that took us a month or so to get over. (She, being the bigger person, brought it up finally). But, the "snits" are fewer and far between and interspersed with such warm love and affection, they are almost negligible.

So, now, as a parent of two girls, I'm faced with "how do I give this to them?". How do I make sure they have the loving relationship I know they can have? I meet so many people on a daily basis, mostly at work. We end up talking a lot. Often, it ends up sounding like a counseling session (sometimes for them, sometimes for me!). I hear stories of broken up families. Siblings that "don't talk". How. how does this happen? And how can I keep it from happening to my girls. Their relationship is so precious...to ME. How can I make it so precious..... to them. What happens when family members just decide to cut other family members, especially siblings, out of their lives? What can be so powerful to make them do that? Does it happen because one sibling feels inferior or less loved by their parents? Is it because they are just so different in their personalities that they could never get along?

Here's what I know. I know my Dad always said:"Someday, she'll be your best friend." He was right.

Here's what I know. My parents never took sides.

Here's what I know. My sister and I are VERY different, but cut from the same cloth.

Here's what I know. We loved and hated each other with the same intensity at different times in our lives, but the love part had endurance. The hate was merely a sprint. Always.

I know our family was always put first by our parents.

I know our parents didn't have the same relationship with THEIR siblings that we do with each other.

I know there is something special between T and I.

I DON'T know how that happened.

But. I do know, I will take my job as a mom seriously, as I always have. And being a mom to more than one kid....it's a new job description. I am now: referee, counselor, teacher and guide with the utmost responsibility on my shoulders. I now need to figure out how to teach these girls how to love each other. No. Matter. What. Big sigh. It's a big responsibility. Thank goodness I have a good example to draw from.

***sorry no pics with this post - I don't currently have access to my pics. I'll add some deathly cute sibling pics soon. ;) ***