Dating again....

I've jokingly mentioned to my non-parent friends how meeting other moms is currently my form of dating. I'm kind of kidding but not really. Here's how it goes:
Mom Dating: I see another mom at the park.
Real dating: I see a hotty at a bar.
Mom Dating: She's got a kiddo around Piper's age.
Real Dating: No ring.
Mom dating: Her kids don't seem bratty, she's not screaming.
Real dating: He's not repulsively drunk and his friends are behaving.
Mom dating: She's around my age.
Real dating: He's not in diapers can't get an AARP discount.
Mom dating: She seems to take good care of herself and her kids.
Real dating: He's really hot.

The Move: I encourage Piper to play "over there". Casually we move closer and listen in on her talking to her child(ren) and decide if we should proceed. Fortunately (unlike with real dating) a conversation is easy to strike. You know you have one thing in common at least. The current topics of choice include potty training, daycare, and kid "equipment" (strollers, bike trainers, big girl beds etc).
Real dating (as I remember...) topics of choice: Drink of choice, lies about how much you really exercise and possibly a deep discussion on astrological signs.

You decide you have enough in common to get together again for a
(mom dating): play date.
(real dating): date date.

You exchange numbers. You go home. You wait. The phone rings. It's not her (him). 2 days go by. The phone rings again (possibly only the 2nd time in these 3 days). Apparently the 3 day rule stands with Mom dating too. It's HER (HIM)!!! You have a great continuation of your conversation and you begin to imagine a future together. Your kids becoming best friends, your husbands hanging out with the kids together while you two go for pedicures, having someone you can trust to call in case of emergency to watch your child for an hour.
(He gets along with your friends and your family approves. He takes you on romantic get-away weekends, all expenses paid. You get married and have kids so you can start Mom dating....)
It's all the same really.
The the first date.
MD: you clean the house Just in case she has to come in to use the bathroom.
RD: You clean the house hoping it's a good enough date to justify inviting him in afterwards.
MD: You scrub up your kid, put her in the cutest outfit you have without overdressing (it is a play date after all). Oh yeah, and you brush your teeth, pull your hair into a pony and wear something other than sweats (something fancy like jeans).
RD: You shave your legs (Priority numero uno), put product in your hair, wear makeup and buy a new outfit.
MD: You anxiously await her arrival.
RD: You anxiously await his arrival.
MD: You meet up, all goes as planned! The kids all behave and have a blast. You two laugh together like you've been friends for years. There's talk of getting the husbands together and future play dates. You make tentative plans for next week and have your kids hug each other goodbye.
RD: He is as hot as you remembered. He takes you to a great restaurant where they have to ask you to leave because you've been so wrapped up in conversation, you don't notice the place closing down. He walks you to your door where he gives you THE kiss. (I'll leave it at that....) As he's leaving he says "I'll call you tomorrow".

The next day. You're on a high. Your life is full of new possibilities. You get home. There are no messages.....
None the next day......
The day comes when you were supposed to have this play date (date). She (he) finally calls....and cancels. Her child is sick. (He has to "work".)

Fortunately, my life is so very full and satisfying right now, so I take this in stride. After all, I am a mom and know what it's like to live with the unpredictability of a child. And unlike with real dating, Mom's don't really need to lie. Moms understand when a kid gets sick, or even if another mom is just feeling worn out and needs a day to lie low. So different from the insecurity of single life and dating. But the excitement in the beginning is the same. Unlike with real dating, I'll give mom-friend another shot. After all, her son could be my daughter's future husband.....

"I two" and Lucky Sister

Piper is two. I really can't believe two years of her life have flown by already. She is a little girl now. As my mom just said "it just keeps getting better". She's right. Every new stage has its down points, but its highs, well, there's just nothing like it.

Although I am sentimental about Piper growing up so soon, I think I would be more so if I knew we weren't about to go through it all again! That's right ladies and gentlemen, we are expecting a little brother or sister for Piper. My due date is February 20! Brooks and I just can't keep our hands off each other so for the second time in 3 years we gave in to temptation and WALA peanut butter sandwiches! We are so very excited. Piper is going to be such a good big sister.

My mom, sister and brother in law were here this weekend to celebrate the Leo brithdays. My sister Tara's birthday is the 13th. If any of you know my sister, you know she is prone to "colorful" language. Before they came, I warned her that Piper is a little parrot now. You REALLY have to watch what you say! Tara was very good and did watch it, which she realized was a good thing after Piper repeated "OH SHOOT!". Thank you T for watching it! :)

Siblings are such a wonderful blessing. I can't wait for Piper to experience that wonderful relationship. My sister has been my best friend- when there seemed to be noone else, my worst enemy - which taught me to deal with adversity and still love the person drooling in my face while I was pinned to the ground, and my Sistah- which if you have a sister, you understand.

She and her wonderful husband Jeff, whom I adore may be moving to Hawaii. Although they now live in Arizona, not exactly next door, Hawaii seems so far. It's a wonderful opportunity for them and I'm so excited for the expereinces they'll have together as a newly married couple.

Yet, today when I said goodbye to my Sistah, I couldn't help but feel my heart tugging. It's probably similar to how I have felt as a parent and will feel many more times. With Piper, that first day of daycare was gut wrenching. Yet I knew it was something I had to do. In the future it'll be kissing her goodbye as she goes to overnight camp for the first time. Then saying goodbye as she drives away with her new license. Then helping her pack up for college or a trip around the world. It may sound wierd to feel that way with my older sister, but I kind of do. During most of our lives, Tara blazed the path. The first to date, the first to drive, the first to get in trouble. But later in life, there have been some things that I have done first. Get married, have a kid, move away from home. As she and Jeff talk about embarking on this adventure I feel a mixture of things I often feel as a parent: pride, concern, certainty that this is a GOOD thing even though it's hard, excitment and of course love. Then I feel the little sister things: She'll be so far, I'll miss her. So as I was saying goodbye, we fell into our roles. Big sister comforting little sister.

Then I start to think of Piper. She will have a lot in common with her Leo Auntie T, whom she calls "T-T". Leos, to start, born leaders. Big sisters, and good ones at that. Very comfortable as the center of attention. And so loving and so loved. I don't doubt I can help Piper become the good big sister she's meant to be. Even though I've never been one myself, I've had a great example set by Tara.

Thank you Tara for being my big sis. I am so excited for you and Jeff and so grateful to have you BOTH in our lives. I LOVE YOU!

Mirror Image

It's so funny as my child grows I see more and more of myself. Sometimes, the not so flattering, sometimes the funny, sometimes the good stuff. We took Piper camping this weekend for her first time - more on that later.... As we were "pine cone hunting" I realized, once again, how observant my child is. After a couple of minutes and several miraculously appearing pine cones(NOT - there were about 15000 in a five square foot radius) Piper started saying "(GASP!) PINE CONE!!" The gasp was one of "surprise". I guess I was doing that to make pine cone hunting a little bit more exciting than it sounds. Not sure if that was for me or her.... Anyway, now everything is a miraculous appearance: "GASP! SHOE!", "GASP! STAIRS!". Ok, so maybe I try to make mundane things interesting with a GASP of surprise. Is that so wrong?

But sometimes, the mirroring tells you you're doing somethings right. Like when she looks at me and says "Mommy's eyes, pretty!". Awwww, melt my heart. I'm glad she knows what it sounds like to get a compliment. Or when she tells me she loves me without me telling her first. Or when she gives her mommy a kiss out of the blue. She is completely loved and now she's able to reciprocate a little, and that's nice.

It helps that her vocabulary is just booming at this point. She is really into naming possessions: ie, "Piper's shoes", "Mommy's shoes", "Daddy's coffee". She even makes up her own words sometimes. "Piper-sault" (Piper somersault), or "Piper-gurt" (Piper's yogurt). I see her daily and I can't keep up on all her new words. Her Dad and I often have to consult on what she means because one or the other will have been there when she discovered this new word or phrase.

She's also starting to sing. Well, it's more like chanting at this point. She gets the words, but not so much the tune. My friend Wendy, who is a beautiful vocalist, said that her son who is 18 mos is getting the tunes, but not the words. Well, as she said, "That's the difference between a child whose mommy can sing and a child whose mommy can't sing!" Yeah, mirrored again.

And does that child love to dance. She's got a new move. I call it her Bill Cosby move. You remember, the black guy who couldn't dance (or at least who's character couldn't dance). Ok, maybe mirrored again.

Despite the beginnings of temper tantrums and aggressive attempts at independence, this is still a fun and magical time. She makes me laugh daily. And a lot of the time I'm laughing at myself.

Did you ever have the feeling....

....there's a geeling on the ceiling? Or a wasket in your basket? Or a zlock behind your clock? Sometimes I feel quite certain......I'm losing my mind! Because more often than I think should be normal, Dr. Seuss authors my inner thoughts. Damn him and his witty prose. Rhyming words no one else would ever even dare to TRY to rhyme. Coming out with these poetic rhythms that could stump even the greatest orators on their first try. But once you master them, you can't turn them off. Sometimes I feel quite certain there's a Rainman in my head. Does this happen to everyone? Maybe it's the heat. Or hormones. Who knows?

What I do know is that no one can say it like Seuss.

If you need a reminder, here's a link:

http://www.seussville.com/main.php?section=home&isbn=&catalogID=&eventID=

I do, actually get to read books other than Seuss. In fact, anyone who knows me knows I'm an avid reader. Currently, I'm reading the famous "In Cold Blood". It's the chilling true story of a quadruple murder in po-dunk Kansas written by Truman Capote. (The movie "Capote" was based on his writing of this book.) I had seen the movie Capote before starting this book. In the movie, Capote seems to go mad, really. After starting this book, which reads like fiction, I can understand why. Not only was it tortuous, I'm sure, to make four people's deaths your life until the book is completed, but the labor that must go into making this book what it has become, I can only imagine. His character development of the victims is unreal when you consider that he never met the individuals themselves. I haven't finished the book yet, but so far I'm impressed.

I love reading. Whether it be Seuss or Capote. To be transported to another world, whether you'd like to live in it or not, is priceless some days. Don't get me wrong. I love my world, it suits me well. But everyone needs a vacation from their lives, don't they? I had this discussion with a friend of mine who is not currently working by choice. She was feeling guilty because she had told her husband that she needed a break. He didn't get it. I do. Whether you work 70 hours a week and get paid, or stay home with your kids working 24-7 and don't get paid, or just stay home because you don't need to work right now. Everyone needs a break from their every-day. And when you don't have the cash to go to Fiji, you can read.

I attribute my love for reading to my mother. She has always been a passionate reader. She stayed at home with us girls until I was 10. I can't imagine why she ever felt the need to escape??? But she did apparently. Mom and I seldom read the same books, but our passion for that escape is the same. My sister and I both took that from mom. And as it turns out, my sister and I both write for a different kind of escape. I hope Piper catches that passion of reading. I think she will. She loves to "read" now. She will happily sit by herself with a book and babble and, more often, will crawl into my lap or Brooks's lap with a book for us to read to her. She even recognizes a few letters. And my time reading with her is another sort of escape. Smelling her freshly washed hair, feeling the warm weight of her relaxed body on mine, hearing her generous giggles at my attempts at silliness while reading (Daddy is much better at the voices than I am). It's the best. It'll turn any day around.

So, here's to reading! Do it for pleasure, do it for growth or knowledge, do it to escape. And enjoy!

Read on Dudes.

Magic

Today I was reminded of some of the things that make childhood such a magical time. Eating corn off the Cob without worrying about if you're left looking like a gomer with corn between your teeth. Staying in the pool until you've lost 15 pounds by shivering and your lips are blue because it's JUST too much fun. Feeling better after a kiss to your Owies. Always laughing at "Eskimo", "butterfly" and "fish" kisses no matter what kind of mood you're in. Only needing to cuddle your cow, bear, bunny and Bambi to turn your brain off enough to sleep peacefully. Only pretending to vacuum and having FUN with it!! Getting excited EVERYTIME you see a goose (even if there are about fifteen hundred in your front yard daily) or in my childhood, a cow (again, fifteen hundred...Wisconsin, remember?).

Childhood is so magical. It's part of what makes parenthood so magical. It makes you see the beauty in the world around you. You open your eyes to what you see every day and suddenly...it's the coolest thing in the world. Flowers, bees, rocks, pine needles, butterflies, corn husks, shoes!! Magical. All over again. Ok, so shoes never lost their magic for me, but the rest, I have to admit I had neglected to see them as magical since I was a kid, until now. Now, they hold potential. Which makes them magical.

It makes me so grateful, once again, to experience this life. And I think of what lies ahead. Sea World, Disney World, camping, skiing, school, slumber parties, Halloween, Christmas, the tooth fairy. All brand new. All newly magical. All because of a child.

You know what phrase comes to mind when I look at those pictures above? "Supreme Enjoyment". When's the last time you supremely, unabashedly enjoyed something new? Or something old for that matter. (or something borrowed or blue?!?) My point is, well you get my point. Life's too short. I've been reminded of that lately by a patient who had a good friend who was 54 years old die suddenly during a run for Special Olympics and by another patient who cares for her almost completely disabled husband who had a massive stroke 9 years ago that "changed our lives a lot". Life's too short in years, too short on enjoyment. Work less. Play more. Live. See the magic in the little things. Slow down and bury your face in the roses even if it makes you sneeze. Stay awake a little longer if it means you spend quality time with your husband. Wake up a little earlier to see that shiny face tucking in her bear, bunny, cow and Bambi before moving on to her day. Stay healthy because it feels good. Eat ice cream because it feels good. Make s'mores. Pick up a pine cone now and then and remember what a miraculous thing it is. Be grateful for the loved ones in your life. Tell them you're grateful for them. Tell them all the good things you think of them and don't hold onto resentments. Forgive, completely. Love, unconditionally. Live, like a child.

A Rant of Gratitude

Whoa- It's been awhile! But since no one reads this, No one knows but me. :) Piper is growing by leaps and bounds. I wish my patience did as well. We are nearing 2 you know. She'll be two in August. She is no longer a baby. She is truly a little girl. There are so many beautiful things about this age. She is such an affecionate little girl. Gives the BEST hugs. Gives Sweet sweet kisses. Says "Love you Daddy" to her daddy and "love you Daddy" to her mommy (Hey, I'll take it). Asks for her T-Bear, Cow, Bambi (whom she calls "Buggy") AND Bunny to cuddle when she goes to sleep. And yes, somehow she gets them ALL in her little arms. She goes to sleep without a whimper and sometimes ASKS to go to sleep. She sees a cow and says "MOOO!", a sheep and she says "BAAAA". Jojo and Lucy bark and she says "Jojo NO! Lucy NO!" (Wonder where she picked that up?). She says Please and Thank You regularly and when she forgets and I prompt her by saying "what do you say?" she replies with: "Sayyyy". She carries around her baby doll and regularly changes her baby's diaper. Probably more regularly than her own diaper gets changed. She helps me dust (really, it IS a help!!). She helps mommy and daddy plant in the garden. She LAUGHS the best belly laugh when she runs through the shower from the hose when we're watering. Really. Could life get any better?

To be honest, I started to blog today because it was one of THOSE days. There are other things that come with an almost 2 year old that aren't so heart warming. But after the above paragraph, I don't feel the need to rant anymore. Those not-so-fun things are so menial when you look at the big picture that way.

So instead I'll "rant" my gratitude. I am grateful for a healthy, smart, loving, beautiful, funny little girl who teaches me wonderful life lessons everyday. It's supposed to be the other way around, but trust me, her teaching me is MUCH more interesting!

I'm grateful for an amazing "renaissance man" of a husband who had the opportunity tonight to come home from his second job early without making any money, but because he knew I needed the break, he came. And who is currently playing a horsey for cowgirl Piper.

I'm grateful for wonderful family. A sister who is a best friend. A new brother-in-law who is more than I could ask for for my sister. A Mom who is such a fun Nana and always listens and makes me see the bright side - or at least a sliver of light. (sometimes I'm tough to get out of a mood) A Mom "in-Law" who has become a second mom and a fantastic Grandma to Piper. Two great bother-in-laws who always make me laugh and keep Piper well dressed and well-loved. A Father "in-law" who always gives and gives and gives.

I feel much better. I AM lucky. I AM grateful. I AM tired,

but that's ok. I mean LOOK at her!

Could it get any better?

Whatever you do, don't laugh

It's so hard not to laugh sometimes. If you've spent any time with a child you know that in a kid's eyes, laughter is the ultimate goal of any behavior or situation. If you laugh, it's over.....and over and over......

IE: New words for Piper these days include "I'm done", "side" (outside), and "down". Very useful words, good ones to know. One of her other new words (here comes the whatever-you-do-don't-laugh part) is "cock". This means sock. And, in case you're unaware, let me tell you how new words with 19 month olds work. The new word is repeated. And repeated. And....repeated....LOUDLY. And if you LAUGH?..... that word will never go away. I know this from experience - thankfully not from the afore mentioned jewel, but from a slightly crude, but cuter, word she got from me: "Toot". As in Fart. I suppose that's what I call them these days. And it got QUITE a laugh out of me when she first said it while squatting in the tub making bubbles. And an even bigger laugh from daddy when he tooted and she called him on it.

It's really so sweet when you think about it. Here's a kid trying the world on for size (for the first time, with most things in her daily life). All she knows is that when mommy or daddy laughs it's a good thing and should be repeated.

Once again, we could learn a thing or two from the innocence of babes. Let's laugh more and make each other laugh more. Who couldn't use a good belly laugh once a day. You know the kind where your head bounces up and down if it's lying on your best friend's belly? Who cares if a toot slips out now and then. That's the best thing about a kid. All they know is that laughter is good. It feels good, it makes their worlds shinier. So what the heck, next time she puts on her choos and cocks, I'm gonna laugh. :)