Holy CRAP!

Hallelujah! Piper POOPED on the Potty!!!! WOO HOO! You have no idea how I've dreamed of this day! She ASKED to go and then she WENT! Then she turned around, looked at it, leaned down and.......Smelled it. Yes ladies and gentleman, my daughter smelled her own poop. BUT, the poop was IN THE POTTY. Let's not lose sight of this accomplishment. After smelling the first tiny little turd she sat back down and went to work. After every little nugget she got up, turned around and admired her work. She was SO proud of herself. I am SO proud of her. The best part of all this is that I've been promising her new dress up shoes if she goes poopy on the potty. The poopy wasn't happening and I want so badly to get rid of her old dress up shoes. I was trying to think of a way I could get her those shoes without making it seem like I didn't think she'd ever poop on the potty (I admit, I had a moment or two of doubt). Now I can throw out those nasty old red sparkly dress up shoes that she has worn to pieces! Well, maybe the best part is not having to wipe poop off her bum anymore, but the new dress up shoes is a close second. Yes, I took this picture to commemorate the moment. It could be worse. I have heard of women taking pictures of the poop itself and I have to admit, the thought crossed my mind. If you don't understand this, you haven't struggled with potty training. But this is a much cuter picture, don't you think?

Relentless

My Brother-in-law Frank once said to me, "Parenthood is relentless isn't it?". Uh, yes. I can't help but admit that word has been floating around in my head since he mentioned it. Yes. Relentless, nonstop, ongoing, endless................etc. We decided to push Piper's bedtime back to 8:00 this summer. There are some really great things about that. It's closer to being dark. We have about 2 hours with her alone after Quinn goes down - and she deserves that one on one time. I don't have to hurry to get both kids in bed between 6 and 7. And she actually goes to sleep when we put her in bed. Well sometimes.

However. Moving bedtime from 7 to 8 means we're "on" for one more hour. Which means I get about one hour of "me" or "us" time before I poop out and head for bed myself. Last night I think I feel asleep before Piper did! Then we get up when the kids get up (which is way too early) and start it all over again. Then there's the laundry, the house work, cooking, errands to run, grocery shopping (anyone else go to the grocery store 6x a week?) play dates, swim lessons, all while trying to be a good mommy. There are days, literally, where I have 10 minutes while both girls are down for a nap before one gets up. Believe it or not, I can fall asleep during that time. I can be out COLD for those 10 precious minutes. But more often than not, I'm catching up on laundry, paying bills or one of the other millions of things we have to get done. It's a rat race. And Brooks is right there with me - what would I do if he wasn't??? Oy.

That's life as a parent. At least MY life as a parent. But life is so full and rich now. It feels complete. Having life like this makes you really enjoy those small little moments that if life were slower, you'd take for granted. Things like reading a book to one of my girls before bed. Dinner's done, bath time's over, it's just her and I cuddling and reading. Or sitting on the patio with a fire in the fire pit and talking to my husband. Actually communicating. Catching up with each other. "Oh yeah! I forgot how much I like this guy." (Isn't it funny that you have to "catch-up" with your husband whom you live with?) Or having a few extra minutes to stop at Starbucks on your way to work. Or having time to write in your blog. Or taking those 10 precious minutes to "nap" or read a magazine. Or an HOUR away to do yoga and just breathe.

Life is really in the moments anyway isn't it? 10 years from now, I won't remember the specifics of the rat race. I'll remember those precious moments. Probably not the ones reading a magazine or stopping at Starbucks, but the cuddle time. How special it is to have a night alone with my husband. The moments where we just dropped what we were doing to play "tickle monster". The impromptu cookie making messes. You know the good stuff.

So, relentless? Yes. But also so rich, so full of laughter, so sweet, so perfect.

My brothers-in-law are about to become parents themselves (which we are so excited about!). They will soon know the perfect relentlessness of life with kids. And they will love it too.

Go Fish

Piper is getting anxious to be able to play with Quinn. They played cards the other day, but after awhile of Quinn just drooling on her cards, Piper decided maybe mommy would be a better partner. But she tried. Today, Piper met a new friend. This girl, Alexa, struck Piper's fancy big-time. She took charge. She spoke up when she wanted something. Everyone around knew she was present. She gave big aggressive hugs and kisses, that could almost be called tackles. AND she had a really pretty princess dress.

I found it interesting how much Piper liked this little girl. And also how Piper started to speak up and say what SHE wanted after being around Alexa for a little while. It was like this girl was the inner Piper. The one that doesn't get quiet and take 2 hours to warm up to people - even friends she's familiar with. The one that says what she thinks, loudly, and when she wants to say it. I could see this girl playing center for the Denver Broncos in 20 years,- possibly in a princess dress. What does it all mean? Probably nothing. What Ying hasn't been, at some time in her life, attracted to her Yang? Sometimes we need to face our polar opposites to give us courage to branch out of our comfort zone. To see that it's ok. And to see that what we are is good and special and sometimes better.

Well, I love my introspective little P-bear just the way she is. "Quiet", "Shy", what ever you want to call her. She's full of love, compassion, humor, fun and laughter. Sometimes it just takes a Broncos Center to get it out of her.

Happy Mother's Day

I was once asked why I wanted to have kids. I honestly couldn't come up with an answer - and I felt really bad about that. But I just knew I did. I'm not sure that actually is a question you can answer completely until you have kids. Then you get moments all day long where you go, "THIS is why I wanted kids. For this moment right now." For the moment when I walk into Piper's room after a nap to find her reading quietly, such a big girl, in her big girl bed. I feel so proud. For the moment when Quinn ALMOST laughs because I kissed her soft little belly. For the soft little belly. For the fingers and toes. For the dress-up and playing "Baby". For going potty in the toilet, and for having another accident but wanting to try again. For the kisses from big sister to little sister. For the "hugs for my family". For the "I love you, good night, go to sleep!"-s. For the boogers on the wall that she helps me clean up. For the fuzzy hair after a bath. For the bedtime stories, and just one more. For the silly songs. For the Eskimo, Butterfly and Fish kisses. For the successes and failures. For new friendships. For learning about being left out. For the laughs when the wind blows our hair into funny styles. For the flowers she picks for me, from our neighbor's garden (oops!). For the piggy back rides, airplane rides on my legs, and lion-walks up the stairs. For the cute little hiccups. For the funny toots. For the soft round cheeks and deep blue and brown eyes that say it all. For the quivering lip. For the irresistible giggle. For the goofball dancing when she's supposed to be eating. For the pig tails. For the bed head. For the cuddles when she's just not ready to get up and face the world. For toothless grins. For spit bubbles. For silly bows on bald heads. For 3 hour naps and for 30 minute naps that end with a giant smile because she's just so happy to see me. And a million other moments.

Us mothers are so lucky. There is nothing like mommy when you're hurt, sad, or blue. There's nothing like a mommy's hug to make everything feel alright. We get to be that person. We get to show our little ones all the wonders of the world. And it's up to us to put our own special spin on it. And in return we get their own special spin on the world. We get to see life through pure innocent eyes once more. We get questions that make us think: "Huh, I don't KNOW why." And questions that make us laugh: "Daddy, did you toot?" And statements that make us face the facts: "There's a baby in your belly mommy!". No, it's just called a "gut" now..... Yes, we also get thrown up on, peed on, pooped on, boogered on. But WE get those wondrous moments while pregnant when you feel the little one kick for the first time. WE get that amazing experience of giving birth. WE get (yes, we GET) those middle of the night feedings where we get to cuddle with no distractions. Just you and me kiddo.

Being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done. It's also the most wondrous. The most rewarding. The most character building. The most honest. The thing I'm most proud of. So, Here's to my mom, who showed me how to love unconditionally. Here's to all my mom friends who are my saviours on a daily basis and who will always have a story to share to make me feel better. Here's to all the new moms who are finally realizing WHY they wanted to have kids. And here's to all future moms, you're in for the ride of your life. :)

Potty Break

I sometimes feel like an auctioneer. Or a flea market entrapeneur. Some days, everything with a two year old, at least MY two year old, is a bribe. "If you stay in the cart in the store you can ride the horsey at the end", "If you don't put your shoes on right now- the ones WITHOUT red sparkles and a heel - we are NOT going to the park!" "You may have pizza AFTER you eat 2 pieces of broccoli!". Do I hear three pieces? Three pieces anyone, anyone three - don't pass up this deal- you may never see another like it! FOUR! four pieces. Anyone? Anyone?... Why doesn't she just do what I say because I SAID SO?!!! Doesn't she know by now that I am RIGHT?! - Always right. No questions. What happens when I run out of bargaining chips? What happens when she no longer cares about going to the park? what happens when she'd RATHER stay home and wear her sparkly red shoes? Then I never get to leave the house - NO! There must be a better way.

Well the truth is, I'm not always right. (I know, you may need to pause to catch your breath now, go ahead. Ok ready for more shocking news?) I DO make mistakes. I'm not always sure where I go wrong, but some days, I DO know I'm not doing SOMEthing right. The other morning I cleaned up 4, yes FOUR, accidents. 3 #1's, and 1 #2. - yep. That was the day I decided we were going to do this potty training thing, by golly. I got M&Ms for yet more bribery, which I didn't think I'd have to do. I talked Piper into making the "Choice" to wear big girl panties, all 3 pair that we wore this AM. (After the last accident I gave up and she went commando - sometimes you're just done.) I think there are some things you just can't bargain. No one gets to say "poop!" until you're good and ready to poop. It's just hard to imagine actually preferring to sit in your own brown trout than to set it free in the sewers where it can live out it's life happily among others just like it. But. I'm not 2 going on 3. And. I have control over more things in my life than whether I pee in my pants or the toilet. That's what it's all about ladies and gents. Control. At least at this point. Which is why, we are taking, yet another, break from potty training. Or mommy training as we should call it.

All Things Spring

Tulips. Green grass. Allergies. Flip flops. Picnics. Kite flying. And most interesting to Piper, Bugs. She has discovered Bugs. They move! They fly! They are EVERYWHERE! To that end, they are in our house. At least A bug is in our house. A spider. A big one. I don't like spiders. I'm a little afraid of the ugly arachnoid to be honest. But I don't want to pass that fear on if possible - fear being a learned behavior to some degree and all. So I am trying to feign interest in front of Piper. I'm trying to look at it scientifically. I have my degrees in science based subjects after all. Bugs are just bugs. Spiders are just spiders....with eight, hairy, creepy legs and a big, fat, round, creepy body, and eyes - let's not go there.
Today, we spent the morning tracking the spider from the vaulted ceiling to her home (EWWWWWWWWWW!) complete with offspring (EWWWWWWWW!) in the corner of my living room. Writing about this is making my nose itch. Piper named the spider. Her name is "Fly". Why did I encourage this? You do realize, I now have to look at Fly as a pet. I cannot kill Fly. I cannot release Fly into the wild - what would her babies (again, EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!) do without her? What am I doing?
Where did this irrational fear of spiders come from? I don't know. My mom isn't really all that creeped out by spiders. I'm sure she doesn't relish the thought of sharing her space with them, but she can rid herself of them without a pep talk before and psycho-therapy after. (And, by the way, the animated Charlotte - of "Charlotte's Web" did NOTHING to warm me to spiders. She was creepier than any I've seen in real life.)
And HOW am I really going to keep my fear unnoticed. I mean really. Piper isn't dumb - far from it. She knows when I'm sad. She knows when I'm mad. I'm sure she knows when I'm about to crap my pants. (I wish she knew when SHE was about to crap her pants - but that's another subject.)
Maybe a little dose of fear is good though. There ARE spiders that WILL hurt you. Fly is PROBABLY not one of them, but you make friends with one and before you know it, you're hosting "Spiders Gone Wild, 2008".
I guess I can deal with having Fly around. After all, she's more afraid of me than I am of her, right? And her little babies, they won't leave her cozy little nest. Right?.....RIGHT?! WHAT? They will scatter like the little baby Charlottes with parachutes (going "weeeeee!") in "Charlotte's Web" all the way up to my bed???!! (I guess that movie really scarred me.) Ok, ok, breathe. I can have Brooks kill Fly tomorrow. Piper will never know. I'm an awful mother. One with real fears and a very itchy nose and a need to sleep without worrying about baby spiders invading my space. Or snakes. Or cockroaches, GOD. I better stop now.

My girls

Although I started this blog as an outlet for myself and often use it in that way, I know someday my girls will read this and I also look at this as a journal of sorts for them to see their childhood through my point of view. Perhaps more helpful and funny when they become mothers themselves, if they are so lucky. I've been feeling so incredibly blessed and blissful about my children lately and wanted to write something to them to try to express how I'm feeling.

Piper, my first, my girl. Your big brown eyes and eye lashes that go on for miles just melt me. Your sweet nature and intrinsic love for your sister, your dogs, your friends makes me burst with love for you. You are at such a fun age. You make me laugh all day long with your antics, your "tickle kisses" (that I used to play with MY mommy), your grown up play and your goofiness that comes straight from the heart. I see myself (and your daddy) in you. Some days when we go to the park, you are all thrill seeker. Running without stopping, sliding without hesitation, joining in with other kids you don't even know. And some days, like today, you need your mommy by your side every step of the way. You like to sit back and watch the other kids. You like to take the slides on a lap instead of head first. You stay on the swings forever, because it's a good view of all that is happening around you. Sometimes I'd swear you're a Gemini. In any case, you are a lot like your mommy. Sometimes jumping right in and sometimes, not so sure of yourself and hanging on to your security. I rejoice when I see you jump in and I sometimes worry when I see you hang back. I was painfully shy for some time while I was young and I don't want you to suffer that. But I also want you to be true to yourself, so I don't force you to cross out of your comfort zone. You'll learn to do it on your own, I did. And one thing I learned along the way is that hanging back and observing sometimes is more genuine. When you make a friend, it's because you really like them. You teach me so much about being a parent every day. It's not about telling you what NOT to do, it's about telling you what you do right. Which, is a lot. I'm learning that you don't need much, but you do need some special time for just you every day. You need time to not be "Piper the big sister" but just to be Piper, my girl. And I'm sorry for the days when I can't seem to find the time to make that happen. You ARE my girl. And I AM so blessed to have you. Thank you, Love, for being such a good big sister, for eating your veggies, for making my laugh and for being "my girl".

Quinn (Our Quinny) you are so little still, but already have stolen my heart. When that sweet lower lip starts to stick out, that frown can be turned to a smile with such ease. Your big blue (will they stay blue??) eyes see it all and soak it all in. I love to watch you discover your hands, your mouth, your toys, your mommy, daddy and sister. You already sense comfort in your big sister. She calms you and it's only the beginning of that - take it from me, I know how comforting a big sister can be. I love how your fuzzy blond-ish hair sticks straight out after your bath. I love your soft, soft cheeks. I love your roly poly thighs. I love your goofy toothless grin and LOVE when you scrunch up your nose in what I think will become your giggle. I love your thoughtful gaze that takes it all in. Thank you for bringing that baby sweetness into our lives one last time. And thank you for reminding me to slow down and enjoy today for today.

My girls, don't grow up too fast okay?